babyblue

i don’t think anyone knows who i am on tumblr. but honestly i don’t have the time.. i wake up, go to work, get home go to sleep.. repeat… i need friends, but don’t have time for friends. i don’t have time to spend with lachlan. is it always going to be this way? work my ass off to pay the bills but never get a chance to chill? i have 2 days off then close thurs through monday. with a double sat and sunday. DO I GET A BREAK!? damn i wish i was a 16 year old mother and got help from my parents, SHIT.

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/26/11899578-boy-buys-garage-sale-camera-holding-photo-of-grandmas-dead-son?lite

how awesome is that? stories like this give me faith in that there is more to life than death.

We went to the aquarium and the mall. The aquarium was a whole lot of fun! Lachlan wasn’t feeling too well but I think he had a good time. He liked looking at the jelly fish the most. We also got him a stuffed sea turtle from the gift shop! We didn’t get to see the beluga whale though because her calf passed away that morning, it was really sad. The ga aquarium is wonderful, I thank the man who started home depot for building it in my city! then we went to lenox and ate taco bell. I. Foolishly went into urban outfitters and found a dress that I absolutely love that was on sale! I got it for 40 and it was originally priced 70 so I’m very happy about that.. plus momma needs a present to for pushing a baby out of her vagina one year ago.. haha

I’ve been pretty sad today, not just because lachlan is no longer a tiny baby but because I don’t have any faith left in his dad and i’s relationship. After a long year it seems as nothing has changed. I thought after an awesome day at probably his fav place to go in atlanta he wouldn’t need to drink. But alas he couldn’t wait to buy a six pack. Even when I rationed with him to only get 2 beers, he lied and lied again with “I’m not going to drink the whole pack.” But he always does, and always talks a whole bunch of shit and its bringing me down time and time again. I feel like I will never get my shit together if I stay with him. I live day to day walking on egg shells. I need to come up with a plan. I’m afraid I might have to get a restraining order because I doubt he will move out on his own with no money and no place to go. I wish we could just do this as normal adults but with him its all or nothing. I’m afraid of what he will do if I do force him to leave, will he hurt himself? Or come back and hurt me? I can’t live like this anymore.

To end this off on a good note, we got lachlan a birthday cupcake and he loved it! We let him have at it and by the time he was through there was frosting and mushed up cake everywhere! It was the cutest mess I have ever seen. I’m so proud of lachlan, I could never even begin to describe the amount of love I have for him.

the house next door to us is rented by 3 girls, well justin bumped into one of the girls the other day and had a chat. well i have no idea who lives in this house since i have never seen them up close, but this one girl was telling justin that she felt bad for him because i was cheating on him. ummmm, wtf?! i have never cheated on justin (even though he probably won’t ever believe that since his whole mindset is that i wouldn’t tell him if i cheated on him anyways.. (which makes me really want to cheat on him just so i can be like hey i cheated on you and prove him wrong, but that is a different story!) anyways, this shit is really pissing me off. i work at the neighborhood bar so i could see her feeling bad for him since i’m at a bar most nights (without really understanding why i’m there, not just because the money is good, but because i want to avoid justin as much as possible during the nights since he sits at home and gets wasted) but regardless of that, i do flirt with my tables, of course i do.. i mean shit that is how i make money, and the only way i can make good money without taking my fucking clothes off.. well now i just don’t know what to do.. it pisses me off that this bitch is telling lies about me to someone i love and already has trust issues.. and why the hell would she? i don’t understand this at all, unless she was trying to jump justins bones or some shit. (which girls do, i’ve witnessed it a lot) but anyways should i confront this bitch? let it be? how could i be okay with letting it be? this makes me so angry!!

really netflix?

is my hair brush. for the past few days he has been bringing it everywhere! i’m not sure why he is so attached.. in other news the neighbors dog took a shit in our front yard. I AM NOT HAPPY. I want lachlan to be able to enjoy his yard without worrying about poop! This is why I don’t have a dog! 

my friend jackie told me the best bill murray story ever the other day.

so jackie worked at one of the restaurants on the square where they were filming zombieland. one of her tables, was sitting on the patio, enjoying a sandwich and fries when all of a sudden a hand reaches in and steals one of their fries. naturally the person follows the hand to the owner, and what would you know! it’s bill murray! he looks down and says “they are never going to believe you” and walked away! haha fantastic!

(via thehorrorsoflove)

it went something like this..

lachlan: (looking at the book on the floor) i get!

me: no you don’t get

lachlan: ya!

me: no lachlan

lachlan: YA!

me: lachlan, lets go change your diaper, ok?

lachlan: ok!

and had to get 10 staples! poor guy!

i love how this picture turned out.

too bad i have no idea how that happened..